9 Feb
9 Feb
9 February 1920
Hell. Letter from Jack. It was too much. I wept all the morning. In the afternoon sitting in the sun - alas alas! The sun is so warm - like summer. All's over then. My dream was right. [KM Notebooks]
Urgent.
My Bogey
I cannot stand it any longer. You must tell me the truth. Here is your Thursday letter: "Well Wig dont give me up entirely." If you really contemplate the possibility of it then you no longer love me or believe in our marriage. You are simply killing me again and again with every letter. Your last, ASKING me to wire if I loved you! Now tell me at once, BY WIRE whether all is over or not. God! To have been driven by you to write such words. You cruel cruel - oh I am crying. Of course when I said I would not write again I only meant until I had your answer.
No you are too cruel. To throw away SUCH Love throw it away. Oh, how you must have lied to me! I thought we could not live without each other. But now put me out of my pain. I cant bear it. I am in utter despair. I must know.
Your Wife.
[Across top of letter]
This your Thursday letter makes mine about the Villa Flora just a silly dream. Again I am not. I just steel myself somehow not to weep before people - thats all.
[To J.M. Murry in Collected Letters]
THURSDAY LETTER COME TELL WING WIRE IMMEDIATELY YOUR COLDNESS KILLING ME TIG [Telegram to J.M. Murry in Collected Letters]