11 May

11 May 1920

2 Portland Villas, Hampstead - London

[. . .] Oh how well I understand this jealous passionate love of himself, this absorption and tenderness which comes from his wretched childhood and poor stifled youth. Then, it seems to him now, he was engulfed, swept away . . . Someone tried to make him other than he was, to fit him with qualities he had not got, to look after him, to ‘give him things' . . . Now he's managed to get quite apart, to possess wholly this his critical, intellectual self. And people take him seriously, they make no demands, they ask nothing and never oppose him. I understand him beyond words. I have been living in a dream but it's been a long intensely vivid dream. As we drove down to Sospel, Violet, I still believed what I said and thought - when my illness was over the queer cloud would sail out of the sky . . .
Does it seem revolting to you that however deeply one is shaken Art remains, and yes, one goes on finding out that it is all. If one could only say what it means to have you two to write for. . .
I remember that house, Violet. I should like it all for the season if theyd take 3000 frcs. for it. I wish I could make them rent, it to me for that. I would decide immediately. The Hotel doesn't sound quite mon affaire, but that solid house is extremely intriguing. Shall I write to them? I shall try and read Madame Bovary again before you come back. [To Sydney and Violet Schiff in Collected Letters, 10 May 1920]

My dear Friends,
I feel I have done wrong in speaking to you as I did about Murry. Yes, that was wrong. But I can't recall the words, or the mood or any¬thing. I can only ask you to forget them if you will.
We look forward to seeing you on Thursday - vey much.
Yours ever
K.M. [To Sydney and Violet Schiff in Collected Letters]