31 Jan

31 January 1920

L'Hermitage, Menton - France

Changed my room for this other - I prefer it. It is more snug & there is only one bed. I sent the reviews off today & a letter to Jack. W.G. sent a little[?]. Wrote to several people. Father. [KM Notebooks]

My dear Bogey,
I wrote to you on Thursday last when I had heard from you of the arrival of my letters from here, but I did not post the letter. I held it over, hoping, with each courier, that the need to send it would be over. But now (Saturday) I can wait no longer.
I have received your letters about the house hunting & your Italian letters are coming in, in any order. I fully appreciate the fact that you are working extremely hard & that all your 'superfluous' energy is directed towards finding a house. At the same time, my dear Bogey, you have hurt me dreadfully. If you reflect for one moment, you will perhaps realise how your 'hows money?' struck me. Did I not tell you the expenses I had coming here [. . .] Therefore I ask you to contribute £10 a month towards my expenses here. If you cannot do so please wire me at once for I must make immediate other arrangements. I cannot wait a day longer.
It is so bitter to have to ask you this - terribly bitter. Nevertheless I am determined to get well. I will not be overcome by anything - not even by the letter you sent me in Italy telling me to remember AS I grew more lonely so you were loving me more. If you had read that in a book what would you have thought? Well, I thank God I read it here and not at the Casetta
I've nothing to say to you Bogey: I am too hurt. I shall not write again.

You will not put me off with just a sentence or two? Consider, Bogey, what you do! [To J.M. Murry Collected Letters, 31 January 1920]