27 August

27 August 1920

2 Portland Villas, Hampstead - London

Tedious Brief Adventure of K.M.

A doctor who came from Jamaica
Said: This time I'll mend her or break her
I'll plug her with serum
And if she can't bear ‘em
I'll call in the next undertaker.

His locum tenens Doctor Byam
Said: Right 0, old fellow, let's try ‘em
For I'm an adept 0
At pumping in strepto
Since I was a surgeon in Siam.

The patient. who hailed from New Zealing
Said: "Pray don't consider my feeling
Provided you're certain
‘Twill not go on hurtin'
I'll lie here and smile at the ceiling."

Those two very bloodthirsty men
Injected five million, then ten
But found that the strepto
Had suddenly crept to
Her feet - and the worst happened then!

Any day you may happen to meet
Her alone in the Hampstead High Street
In a box on four wheels
With a whistle that squeals
And her hands do the job of her feet.
[KM Notebooks, undated]