25 Mar

25 March 1920

Villa Flora, Menton - France

My dearest Bogey
I was reading your letter so happily this morning until suddenly I came across your remarks about Beatrice Hastings. Darling, your memory is very short lived. Yes, it is true, I did love B.H. but have you utterly forgotten what I told you of her behaviour in Paris - of the last time I saw her and how because I refused to stay the night with her she bawled at me and called me a femme publique in front of those filthy frenchmen? She is loathesome & corrupt & I remember very very well telling you I had done with her, explaining why & recounting to you how she had insulted and abused me. I should have thought you could not have forgotten those things. Indeed I shall never forget your enemies - never forgive them - never forget if you tell me you have been insulted. London is a veritable sink of corruption if such mists gather & mislead your fine & pure understanding.
But darling, even though as you say you cannot cope with the world - don't for god's sake for that reason go to meet the world in any way. Withdraw. Be morose. Be silent. But oh Bogey Do be proud. What is our love worth if it hasn't taught us pride if we don't defend each other and keep the shield bright for each other. Your honour is my honour; Ill not betray you. Ill defend you: Ill keep very very straight & good because I am a Heron. I will NOT be caught on their lime twigs even for one moment. Love, you are too lenient. Is it much to ask you to be yourself & to condemn what you don't approve of?  [To J. M. Murry in Collected Letters]