25 Jan

25 January 1920

L'Hermitage, Menton - France

A year has passed away . . . and that's all. Missed J. Connie & Jinnie came She is a really wonderful creature. Her gaze, her hands, her quietness. Both have this quiet, restful air. L.M. came très embarrassée - I don't know why. I grudge L.M. money - it's very dreadful. The meals here are a horror. I seem to be sitting hours & hours there & the people are ugly. Nevertheless thank God I am here, in sound of the train, in reach of the post. Italian letters came today. [KM Notebooks]

My dear Petit-Frère,
[. . .] I am out of Italy as you see and in France. I shall stay here until the end of April if I can manage it. That italian villa got pretty dreadful and yet now the time there is over I wouldn't have it otherwise. I found out more about ‘writing'. "Here" is a room with the window opening on to a balcony & below the balcony there is a small tree full of tangerines and beyond the tree a palm and beyond the palm a long garden with a great tangled - it looks like - a wood at the bottom of it. Palms Arthur are superb things. Their colour is amazing. Sometimes they are bronze - sometimes gold and green - warm deep tiger-gold -& last night, under the moon in a little window they were bright silver. And plus that the creatures are full of drawing. How marvellous life is - if only one gives oneself up to it! It seems to me that the secret of life is to accept life. Question it as much as you like after but first accept it. People today stand on the outskirts of the city wondering if they are for or against Life - is Life worth living - dare they risk it - what is Life - do they hate or love it - but these cursed questions keep them on the outskirts of the city for ever. Its only by risking losing yourself - giving yourself up to Life - that you can ever find out the answer. [To Richard Murry in Collected Letters]