25 Feb

25 February 1920

Villa Flora, Menton - France

Marie Louise - domestique de 30 ans, venant de Nord - pent faire la cuisine - travaille admirablement - desire venir avec nous comme cuisinière - femme de menage. Mais elle a avec elle sa nièce, jeune fille de 17 ans, admirable comme parlour maid et serving maid qui vent venir aussi. Si je m'attache tons les deux? Please reply! Ce sont deux femmes superbes!!! Mais pas un mot d'Anglais. Je suis très anxious to bring them.
[Postcard to J.M. Murry in Collected Letters]

My dear old Boy
[. . .] In the Hermitage letter you asked me what were my views about Adam in this great swinging garden. Now thats awfully difficult to answer. For this reason. I cant help seeing all the evil and pain in the world: it must be faced and recognised - and I cant bear your sentimentalist or silly optimist. I know it all: I feel it all. And there is cruelty for instance - cruelty to children - how are you going to explain that, and as you say the beauty - yes the beauty that lurks in ugliness that is even outside the pub in the gesture of the drinking woman. I cant explain it. I wish I could believe in a God. I cant. Science seems to make it impossible - and if you are to believe in a God it must be a good God & no good God could allow his children to suffer so. No, Life is a mystery to me. It is made up of Love and pains. One loves and one suffers - one suffers and one has to love. I feel (for myself individually) that I want to live by the spirit of Love - love all things. See into things so deeply and truly that one loves. That does not rule out hate - far from it. I mean it doesn't rule out anger. But I confess I only feel that I am doing right when I am living by love. I don't mean a personal love, you know, but - the big thing. Why should one love? No reason; its just a mystery. But it is like light. I can only truly see things in its rays. That is vague enough isn't it? [Letter to Richard Murry in Collected Letters, 24 February 1920]