23 Mar

23 March 1920

Villa Flora, Menton - France

My precious Bogey,
I had 2 such lovely letters from you yesterday - one written on Wednesday and the other on Thursday. They were quite old-fashioned letters, telling me things and they brought us so near together. I read & re-read them. Thank you, my very own. About the novels. Id rather do them until I come home. Then we can talk it over. But youve sent me enough now to go on with & I do hope to work more this week. Its all I can say. I feel very refreshed today and my chill has quite gone. Rendall (the doctor man) had a talk with me on Friday evening. He says I do absolutely right to go back to England now & to return here in November & this time next year I ought to be as well as I ever shall be i.e. as well as Mother was. She & I seem to be exactly the same: my heart trouble I mean is just like hers. I don't mean my temporary Casetta heart trouble for thats gone but my permanent kind, love which will never go. You see part of my left lung n'existe plus - so my heart has to do a two man's job to pump the blood through quickly enough to oxygenate the system. It can do it of course but it wont bear strain. I mean it wont bear violent exercise ever, so if a bear runs after me you must run after the bear & not climb your juniper tree. But I can walk and could even ride when my arthritis is better and can do all normal things at my own pace, thats all.  [To J. M. Murry in Collected Letters, 24 March 1920]