20 July

20 July 1920

2 Portland Villas, Hampstead - London

But just as Laura thought that, she had an idea that some one on the top was looking down at her. Someone had suddenly appeared from nowhere and with a brilliant round white face was staring! Oh, how awful! And it was shameful, too, to have such ideas at her age. She even decided the face was a chinaman's before she had time to look up. What nonsense! It was the moon shining through the top landing window. And now there were moonbeam fingers on the bannisters. Laura walked up the stairs slowly but for some reason she tried not to make a sound and looking down at her satin shoes she pretended they were little birds tiptoeing up a dark branch. "But now we're at the top of the tree" she told them. And she stood with her head bent and her arms by her sides, waiting for someone ... "It's only because people don't know she's there that they don't come" thought Laura. "She is wearing a white tulle dress with a black velvet sash - very nice! Charming! I say, Laurie, introduce me to your sister!" And someone came forward stroking his white kid gloves.
Laura was so delighted she gave a little jump for joy and forgetting all about her resolve she ran across the landing, down the passage, past the american bathroom & knocked on the dark-room door.

This isn't bad, but at the same time it's not good. It's too easy ... I wish
I could go back to N.Z. for a year. But I can't possibly just now. I don't see why not in two years' time, though.

[KM Notebooks, undated]