15 December 1920

15 December 1920

Villa Isola Bella, Menton, France

... I kissed her. Her flesh felt cold, pale, soft. I thought of nuns who have prayed all night in cold churches ... All her warmth and colour and passion she had offered up in prayer in cold, ancient churches ... She was chill, severe, pale; the light flickered in her raised eyes like the light of candles - her skirt was worn shiny over her peaked knees: she smelt faintly of incense.
"No, Father. Yes, Father. Do you think so, Father?" (But still haven't said what I want to say.)

The Doll:
Well, look, muttered Miss Sparrow - I've nothing to be ashamed of. Look as much as you like - I defy you. It's what I've wanted all my life. She cried brokenly - and now I've got it. I defy you. I defy the world! And she drew herself up in front of the window, proudly, proudly, her eyes flashed, her lips gleamed, pressing the doll to her flat bosom. She was the Unmarried Mother.
[KM Notebooks]