1 Mar

1 March 1920

Villa Flora, Menton - France

My own Bogey,
A perfect pile of letters came today - one telling me about Dollie Radford. Also there came the paper. I think it is vastly improved with the contents across p. 1. It looks a very good number. I have not had time to read any but your most admirable article yet. Therell be no me this week I am afraid. Letters have simply not been going to England. I suppose you don't realise là bas how serious this strike has been here. I have seen the D.N. [Daily News] (Jinnie takes it) & it seems to be just dismissed but the french papers are full of it and full of its esprit revolutionaire. Were it not for the post Id snap my fingers at it. What does it matter here - when Jinnie takes up a piece of omelette & says "come on hedge-sparrow, peck away." Thats her name for me!
I want to write about a million things but I am held up because I do not know what you are feeling about my letter about the house. I feel your keen disappointment & Id give my eyes to able to retract it. But I cant. Its no good imagining that I can live in an English winter yet. I just dare not: it might cripple me for life. And we cant have a half life. You are the very last man on this earth to have to do with an ‘invalid wife' - I know that so well. I know that the springs of our life together will be poisoned if I am not well - Italy taught me that & now this rheumatism which Rendall assures me is most obstinate & which I know for agony convinces me that nothing but sun from November till May will do.  [To J.M. Murry in Collected Letters, 2 March 1920]