09 December 1920

9 December 1920

Villa Isola Bella, Menton, France

But don't feel sad - or knocked over - or don't take any of this too seriously. Easy to say - isn't it. Yes, all the same its not RIGHT to LIVE among mountains of gloom - or to sweat blood as one climbs them. One must just run on top and be careless. I don't now mean that in putting you in this hole Im laughing at the hole. But think of the hole that I might so easily trip into!! Its far bigger - far blacker - but I WONT moan.
This is a very mixed letter. You ought just to love me - thats all the best - and you must understand.
Your own

I open this letter to say Ive just got yours of the 5th. The Morning Post is very ‘whiskery' - isn't it. But oh, I wish I didn't have to send my letter! Your letter makes it so hard.
My chill is a bit better today but always there. ‘C'est pas gran'chose mais enfin' is the feeling.
Ive had a letter from Squire saying my story is at the printers & asking for another as soon as & whenever I have one. Ill give you one to take back.
Now about things you ought to bring. Do you mean - for me? I have no commissions for you. Bring warm clothes for yourself. Its v. cold here & the last leaves are gone. We are very exposed - all our lovely trees are bare. I fear you will not think it is very pretty at all. The lemons shine on bare boughs, & the freckled tangerines have two little leaves left to fly with.

I feel so queer - so abnormal - shorn of my job that I can scarcely write to you until I have heard. And it pains me to think I shant be there in the paper. Im shut out. But it cant be helped. No complaining! [To J. M. Murry in Collected Letters, 8 December 1920]