07 October

7 October 1920

Villa Isola Bella Menton, France

My beloved darling
Your Sunday and Monday letters are come. With them I feel more convinced than ever that we do right to keep our promises: you know how I love you. Truly, I can't get over having troubled you like this: it seems impossible and yet - now that I know you do understand I cant regret it. I called upon you in my time of trouble and you heard me -that is enough. My dearest own, don't feel you must keep on holding me or that you must keep listening for another cry. I have a perfect horror of demanding help, of asking you to - hold my hand. Youre as free as can be again. Youve wonderfully responded. The miracle that I couldn't have believed could happen HAS happened. If I could love you more absolutely (it seems I always can) I do. But - do you understand? I want to put my arms round you - hold you - let you hear my inmost heart say thank you thank you my Boge and then let you go. Be undisturbed; be free of me now. Think of me as here & working and getting better so that all we intend to do we shall do. I feel immensely glad we have Broomies. Its somehow so important that it should be there. I feel we shall return one day - not too far off and it will be our home. I feel nearer you than ever. There is you and work.
Dont write me any more letters now except on Sundays. Oh, my own precious little mate, do you see Wig imploring you to smile & be calm and wear a bow tie & sit at my yellow table with our teapot cat & save pennies and talk to your friends and keep warm. [Letter to J. M. Murry in Collected Letters 6 October 1920]