3 Feb

3 February 1920

L'Hermitage, Menton - France

F only no gouter. No letter from John today. Went for a little walk in the garden & saw all the pale violets. The beauty of palm trees. To fall in love with a tree. Heard the ladies in the Harem talking. Japonica is a lovely flower, but people never grow enough of it. [KM Notebooks]

This is written before your II card & telegram. I have opened this & replied on pages III and IV.
Wednesday
Dear Bogey
[. . .] Money has not been mentioned, but I think he [Grant Richards] ought most certainly to have the first look. If he wants it I must ask for an advance & if he refuses the advance - the affair is off. Please send me the note you refer to - will you? As regards the advance money I would rather wait & receive it for my book than that you should lend it to me. I MUST have it for my overcoat, fare home, etc, & I certainly do not want to borrow it from you. Perhaps I did not make clear that I ASKED you for the £10 a month. I mean NOT as a loan. I am afraid from this note you may advance it for me & then take the book money. But I am afraid that will not do.
Will you please tell me why money is tight?' I cannot understand. If it is necessary to say [these] things why do you buy a mirror? I feel as I felt when you referred before to your heavy debts that you are keeping something from me all the time. You have expenses, you must have that I dont know of. Oh, if only you would be frank about this: it would make things so different. Can't you confide in me? Are you helping somebody? I know you are saving up for the house but you . . . dont put the house FIRST do you Bogey? Yet you find it necessary to again write money is tight. I don't want - God forbid - to know your private affairs but if you can tell me a little it would be a great relief.
Wig.  [To J.M. Murry in Collected Letters, 4 February 1920]